Even though he does not read this blog,I must first apologize to my good friend Legolas. Several years ago, he told me that his kids (none of whom had, or have, yet been born) would not "believe" in Santa Claus. In my typical "I'm-right-and-you-are-wrong" fashion, I let him have it. I lambasted him, asking how he was going to keep his children from spoiling it for other kids. Telling him that it was foolish and unnecessary, that Santa was harmless. Legolas: I'm sorry.
Some of you may be questiong why "believe" is in quotation marks. As a student of history, I have every intention of telling Isaac the true story of Saint Nicholas, My hope is that he will believe that this generous man truly did exist, but that he is either currently with the Lord, or awaiting judgement day (depending on your theology on such matters). So Isaac will believe in the person that we now refer to as Santa, but he will not believe that Santa still exists. There are several reasons why.
I'll begin with what I view as the most obvious: Santa detracts from Jesus. In our ultra consumer-driven culture, Santa represents the giving and receiving of gifts on Christmas. While some I know try to justify this by saying that the wise men gave gifts to Christ, or that Jesus was the ultimate gift to man, I see this as justification after the fact. If Jesus is the ultimate gift, shouldn't we be giving to Him? And if it's the wise men, Santa shouldn't begin his breaking and entering spree til some time in January. Kris Kringle's detraction from the true "reason for the season" is further exacerbated by the current over-use of Santa to sell at Christmas time. (You may have noticed that "Christmas time" now begins the day after Halloween, rather than the day after Thanksgiving, as it used to.) Anecedotally, The Queen of Hearts and I were at a family Christmas party last year. The Queen's father has a massive family and there were probably two dozen "Santa-aged" children present. Many parents found their kids to be uncontrollable until... Santa arrived. (So it was the Queen's female cousin in a Santa suit, these kids wanted to believe so much, that it didn't seem to bother most of them that Santa sounded like a woman). Suddenly, there were 24 little angels in the room seated quitely at Santa's feet awaiting what great gift he would bestow upon them. It was as though he had attained the status of deity for these young minds. I was highly disturbed. Not only does Santa detract from Jesus, he almost usurps his position.
Second, I would rather not lie to my child regarding an apparently immortal, strangely powerful, loving being who can visit every home that celebrates Christmas in a single night giving material gifts. A being who doesn't really exist. Primarily because I want him to believe in the immortal, omnipotent, all loving, omnipresent, giver of the single greatest gift: salvation. If he learns that I lied about Santa, does he then doubt the existence of God and Christ? A relative of mine was explaining how his second grade daughter came home questioning the existence of jolly old St. Nick. Apparently, a child at school told her Santa wasn't real. The father of this seven year old then set out an elaborate plan to convince her that Santa did exist. His end purpose was to further deceive his child. No thanks, I'll pass.
Something I realized recently is that our Santa myth sets up the potential for an incorrect (and potentially damaging) view of God. The similarities between Santa and God are quite evident as I listed above. There are two great differences that could be confusing if a child believes in Kris Kringle. First, both Jesus and St. Nick both truly lived, but only one is still alive. Second, what do you have to do for Santa to give you something other than coal? You must be good! Every sidewalk Santa asks the same thing, "Have you been a good [boy/girl] this year?" However, God's blessings are not contingent on our behavior. They are based on His grace and love, not whether or not we cursed when we got our finger caught in the blender when we were trying to get out that last bit of milk shake. This second difference is one that many believers struggle with anyway, it does not need to be subconsciously encouraged.
I see in the Bible many calls to be counter-cultural. Because America is supposedly a "Christian Nation," we often feel that it's ok to be an American Christian because they are almost synonmous. I no longer see it that way and this is just one way that we will hopefully stand out as believers. We are Christians who happen to be Americans. Our loyalty to the kingdom of God comes first.
Will Isaac be missing out on anything? I remember when I learned that Santa didn't exist. I figured it out because Santa and the Easter Bunny had the same handwriting. I was pretty mad at my parents for lying to me for years. (The night before Easter, my mom would wear a hat with bunny ears on it, so in case we woke up we'd think we saw the Easter Bunny. I did see the Easter Bunny, and told kids that I had, til I was in third grade). I'm hoping that Isaac will miss out on all of that.
We'll try to explain to him that some people believe that Santa exists and we shouldn't try to convince them otherwise. However, for his whole life, I hope Isaac will know the following truths: Jesus loves him, the Red Sox are the best team in baseball, and Santa doesn't really exist.
This may be just my opinion, but it's being put into action.
11 comments:
To my parents, no American holiday was a big deal. Not Christmas, Thanksgiving, Easter or whatever. They left all their holidays back home when they came here and it has taken them 30 years to kind of embrace American holidays like Christmas (as they are popularly celebrated). Still, holidays are always an interesting time at my house (as I'm sure they are at most people's.)
I used to be upset with my parents for not embracing American culture more quickly. Now, I am glad it took them 30 years to realize that Christmas is something of a "big deal". No one ever told me to believe in Santa and so I never had any "Santa isn't real?" moment. I'm not sure Joshua will either.
I always think that I want to do most things differently than mom and dad did. This is one case where I hope I will be able to imitate their example.
This is totally each parents' individually decision to make, and I don't yet know what I'll do when I have kids. However, if I do not lead them to believe in Santa, it will be because I don't want to lie to them; not because I think that Santa (necessarily) takes away from the truth of the holiday. Do you really mean to tell me that you don't think that there are Christian parents out there capable of teaching their children the difference between the childhood fantasy of Santa and the truth and love of Jesus Christ?
My childhood experience was very similar to yours. My parents did perpetuate the Santa myth when we were small, but my dad became a follower of Christ when I was in second grade. I was told then that Santa was not the one who brought Christmas presents into our home (& they were sorry for deceiving us in previous years).
I can never remember believing in the Tooth Fairy or Easter bunny...they were just "fairy tales" to us.
Incidentally, my husband grew up receiving gifts not from Santa, but "Baby Jesus". Why does that rub me the wrong way? I don't know yet, but it does.
I know that I don't want my children questioning the authenticity of our Lord and Savior.
Bravo, Marc. I agree with you wholeheartedly. People think I'm "extreme" for not wanting my children to believe in Santa, especially Christians. What is that?! I've already had to answer questions to other people as to why Santa won't be bringing presents to our house, we won't drag our kids to the mall to have their picture taken with Santa, and we won't bake a birthday cake for "Baby Jesus." I agree with Melissa. The whole "Baby Jesus" thing rubs me the wrong way too... as if He's only a little baby and Christmas is just a story like any other children's book.
Marc, your post begs the question though: what are you going to do about all the other "traditions" (for lack of a better word) like Christmas trees, lots of decorations, and tons of presents? Surely the long-term repercussions of the consumeristic aspects of Christmas are just as frightening, if not more so, than a man in a red suit.
What say you?
Forget it, your wrong New England will lose. I can't wait to watch and see it!!!
Jamye & Peter -- Nope, no relation to any Star Wars 'bots. Most people I know call me "2-10" instead of my real name. Right, Marc? :D
What has amazed me as Kara has run into various family and friends who are either older or not churched is that they get really pissed off if she doesn't bow to the Santa god. For example, we have told my brother- and sister-in-law directly that we do not do Santa nor do we desire to do Santa for religious reasons, and this otherwise "tolerant" couple just won't shut up about it. Again and again, they and other adults put Kara and us in difficult situations--and I always come away simply astounded. I mean, if Santa is just a fun little game, then it should be no big deal to decide not to play. So why the stubbornness and even anger about it that I have personally witnessed from otherwise well meaning people? Makes you wonder, doesn't it.
Ok, well, I'm going to respond some of the questions that have been raised in the comments and I'll pretend that it isn't a year later and that anyone will actually read this comment.
Ali. I'm not saying that parents aren't capable. I'm saying that 6 year olds would have difficulty distinguishing between the two in regards to which is real and which is not. It's the emotional and logical maturity of the child that I'm questioning, not the parental ability of the adults.
2-10. You are correct. When you make the choice to remove Santa there are other choices that must be made. I'm in favor of the tradition that says that the Christmas tree was originated by Martin Luther as a reminder that God's love does not hibernate. The tree that's green year round signifies God's love that continues even during the difficult times. We don't do a ton of decorations to begin with. A few "Joy" door hangers, some celebratory bells here and there, and the occational snowman to brighten up the house. In regard to the tons of presents, we've decided to honor the example of the Magi. We give each other three gifts for Christmas.
This is all interesting reading. My three children and I were saved this past February. My husband is not saved. He was brought up in a Catholic family just like I was. It is often difficult because he does not see things the same way I do. The children are between the ages of 10 and 7. I also have a 2 year old. I agree with a lot of what I am reading here. However, the damage has been done with the lie of Santa Claus. Now I have to undo that lie. I will start with a good talk with my ten and nine year old. I could use some suggestions on how to start with the seven year old. I did well explaining Halloween to the 2 older children. The seven year old did not grasp it. With the two year old, I'll never have to undo the Santa lie. She'll know the truth right away. I still have a lot to learn. Christmas tree? Decorations? Gift giving? Is there a book that someone can recommend that touches on all of this? Thank You!
Mamas4. Welcome!
I apprecaite your desire to over come our cultural pressure when it comes to Santa.
What we have done is the following: Tradition holds that Martin Luther, a great church reformer, was one of the first to have a Christmas tree, an ever green tree reminding us that Gods love is never ending.
we decorate with "seasonal" items: snowmen, snowflakes, bells, stars, the nativity, etc. We still do the stockings... that might be one tradition we have difficulty breaking.
We are going to teach our (now) children (we've had one since I wrote this post! :) ) that St. Nicholas was a Christian man who lived long ago, and when they see "Santa" that is celebrating his life, but we will not be participating in the Santa myth.
When it comes to gifts, we've decided to do three gifts from each person to each person. Three as that is the number of gifts presented by the Magi to Jesus.
I'll have to research a book but a great place for Christian merchandise at a reasonable price is www.christianbook.com. They've got a great search engine and you should be able to find something very similar to what you are looking for!
Hope this helps! Let's keep lifting those families who are joining us in the quest up in prayer!
Wishing you His Peace this season.
Great post - this is the first year we really needed to make a decision about the whole Santa issue (my kids will be 14 months and 2 1/2) and I agree with you. It's not easy and I'm not sure how my in-laws and many of our friends who aren't Christians will handle it, but Im glad there are other Christian families that feel the sme way :0)
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