Censoring Handy Religion

A new month: a new post (or so it seems). Let's just get right to it:

The Boston Red Sox have an 8 game lead and Eric Gagne! Do you hear me complaining? I think not! Especially seeing as Gagne has agreed to be a set up man! So, now the BoSox have three closers pitching one after another: Okajima in the seventh, Gagne in the eighth, Papelbon in the ninth. Have fun everybody! Bonds still sits at 753 and A-Rod at 499, Clemens gave up 8 runs in the second inning, the Sox have added a game to their lead in August, and Randy Moss is at training camp though currently day to day with a "leg injury." (Belichick just loves leg injuries!) All is right in the world of sports!

Can someone explain to my why the New York Yankees who have a line up with Damon, Jeter, Abreu, Giambi, A-Rod, Matsui, and Posada yet a bullpen that has given up more leads than that of the 2005 Kansas City Royals would trade their only every day reliever for another power bat?! I'm stymied! Buh Bye Proctor, hello Betimit. Buh Bye October, hello golf course!

I realized the other day that I probably haven't ever posted anything that would cause my blog to be censored in China. I thought that was a shame, so here are the top five reasons China should become a republic:

5) What are you afraid of? Do you think the communist party won't win the election?
4) It's done nothing but unite the people of the US
3) One sixth of the world's population can't all be wrong
2) It would be unbearably entertaining to hear American news anchors attempt to pronounce the names of all of the candidates
1) Hilary would have one less country to point to as an example of why her political platforms would be successful

There you go, Reds: Censor away!

The other day in a DVD store, due to a miscommunication with my friend Aquinas, the concept for a new movie popped into my head. Pygmalion vs Predator I can picture it now: (in an uppity British accent) "No no no! A prroperr predatorr rrolls his "r"s when he is announcing whom he will devourr!" "Yes, they met a vile and disgusting death, but he was exceedingly polite during the entire endeavor." "I do believe I am the victorious party in regards to our wager: The Predator is now an absolute gentleman of an extra terrestrial as he mutilates humans for no apparent reason." (Please send me any royalty checks if you choose to advance my concept any further, thank you.)

I recently saw a computer generated children's program called "Handy Manny." It is a Disney show starring a Hispanic handyman named Manuel who has talking tools (also Hispanic) that help him fix things. Harmless, right? Consider the following: There is another main character, a very very white neighbor who doesn't like Manny because the neighbor always wants to do his own handyman jobs. He always fails (and looks like an idiot in the process.) "But that's just one character," you say? Every single person that Manny helps was white. In fact, there was not another minority character in the entire show. Not even the people wandering around in the background on the street. Once Manny is called to a job, his tools hop out of his belt and do all the work while Manny is the one who gets paid. There is no veiled message about how we need "guest workers," right? It's not suggesting that Manny is a legal immigrant getting work for his illegal friends that he's hiding in his crew, right? If I'm so far off base, please supply your speculations as to why every tool is also Hispanic. And why Di(versity)sney suddenly doesn't have an African American, Asian, Inuit or Handicapped person represented in this innocent program. Oh, and did I mention that their oft repeated little song is "we can fix it together"? Need I say more?

And finally, the ever present political commentary: Have you heard? The left has fooouuuund the LORD! Hallelujah! The political party that once asked how it was Constitutional for the government to deal in a close partnership with faith based organizations is now broadcasting just how spiritual they really are! Why this sudden new-found faith? Why now? Because President George W. Bush (#1 on the left's "most hated" list) has served two terms thanks to the blind, one issue voting of the Religious Right (not to be confused with the blind, one issue voting of the Green party or the gay activists). Are we witnessing a revival in the Democratic party? Is the Lord coming down from the stratosphere? Or is the left conjuring up a strategy? If Ms Clinton is so very religious, why is she only declaring it now, after 18 years in the national public eye? How can Mr Obama be a committed believer and not only vote against a partial birth abortion ban but attempt to justify it in the process? Perhaps Mr Edwards is the only one not putting on a new face for this campaign. When interviewed by TIME Magazine he was the only one who didn't select "Amazing Grace" as his favorite hymn. Honestly, the actual action doesn't bother me. Both political parties pull out all of the stops in an effort to steal votes from the other's main base. What saddens me is that I can foresee a large portion of the American public not seeing this for the farce that it is. It is not a change in lifestyle, it is simply a change in strategy.

Have I ruffled a few feathers? Sound off in the comments! But never forget, after all, it's all just my opinion.