Saturday, May 26, 2007

Buffet Post

I should simply begin all of my posts with "are you seated? Because we're in for a loooooong ride!" So let's start the engines. (Here's the break down: Sports first (as always), Movies, TV, Politics, closing with Potent Potables (Kudos for you if you get that joke). Actually, it's more of a Wild Card closing)

How about dem Sox?! 10.5 as of May 26th! I'm loving it!

Bret Favre is very upset that the Packers did not do everything in their power to get Randy Moss into Green Bay. So upset, in fact, that he's demanded a trade. No really. A trade! As though, somehow, Randy Moss would alleviate Favre's need for a walker! The man who should have retired two seasons ago demanded a trade. I'm sure that the front office is terrified that some team that needs an aging QB on the decline will offer them something more than that net that catches the field goals and extra points. Of course, he couldn't threaten to retire. The Packers might start firing people just to make him follow through!

Jason Giambi has finally admitted that he took steroids. Of course, delutional people will still try to claim that he didn't say the words "I took steroids." However, I'm not sure what "Everyone was taking them, so was I." Could be referring to if not the juice. Why is he still playing? Your guess is better than mine.

I finally say The Da Vinci Code. I liked it better the first time when it was called National Treasure. The only difference between these two movies is that in NT, they actually had to go places to figure out the clues. They both get to the destination only to learn that the "treasure" (if you will) is not there. Then (Surprise, surprise) it's one step further. In DVC the hairdressing mistake that was Tom Hanks along with Amalie only had to go to three different paintings in the Louvre, then to a bank... and that was basically it. Everything else could have been figured out right there if there weren't a crazed albino monk trying to kill them. There was one potential moment for redemption with DVC. At the end Hanks says, "There's been so much debate over whether [Jesus] was human or divine." I thought, perhaps? Maybe? Could he really be about to say "Why couldn't He be both?" No, no. He says, "Maybe human is divine." So blatantly New Age I wanted to vomit.

I'm already hooked on On the Lot. Part of me is afraid to watch thinking it will expose me as a fraud of a filmmaker. Another part can't tear my eyes from it in the hopes that I might consider myself an equal with the contestants. More to follow in future posts.

In Iraq, Al-Qaeda has claimed responsibility for the disappearance of the four missing soldiers. They must be lying! I have been told over and over by the media and countless politicians that Al-Qaeda is not in Iraq! So the real mystery is who really has the soldiers and why would Al-Qaeda lie about their activities? I look forward to Al Gore's answer.

Speaking of Al Gore (Hmmm Al Gore, Al-Qaeda???): He was on The Late Show with David Letterman and said that Iraq was "The worst strategic mistake in the history of the United States." What did David do? He sat back and let him rail on. He did not challenge him. He did not assert that absolute statements like that make the speaker sound asinine. He simply listened like a puppy being taught to fetch the paper. Al also said thank you to the soldiers. For what? For being part of "the worst strategic mistake in the history of the United States?" Funny, I would have thought that Bay of Pigs might have ranked up there. Maybe the Isolationism during the destruction of the Jews. How about the strategy of "separate but equal?" Or, wait, those were Democratic ideas. How foolish of me, those don't count! He went on to discuss how this administration takes the facts and tries to squeeze them into their "Preconceived notions." Is anyone else double over with laughter at the double standard? What exactly are global warming "Scientists" doing? Are they not taking the facts and squeezing them into their own preconceived notions? Anyway, Gore remains irrelevant until he announces that he's running again.

I'm so sick of the Gardasil advertisements. There is a completely veiled agenda hidden in their "get vaccinated" message. Gardasil prevents only one type of cervical cancer. The one that is a sexually transmitted disease! That's it! Politicians in my two states (MA, CT) are calling for all high school females to receive this shot! (Some are requesting that the age be lowered to Junior High.) Why?! We can't teach abstinence, but let's make sure we vaccinate the girls against the STD! And just to be safe we'll give them some condom's too. We don't want our kids to smoke, so you have to be 18 to buy them. Guess what? Kids do it anyway. Let's just hand out the packs in "health" class. We don't want them to drink so you have to be 21. Guess what? Their gonna do it anyway. Maybe Math class is a good place to hand out the twelve packs. How does this make any sense to any logical adult? We attempt to deny teens access to all of the things we don't want them to do, save sex. Please, please, someone explain this to me.

And speaking of teens: There's a town in Connecticut that is requiring students to take a breathalyzer test before they are allowed to enter their prom. If they fail, their parents are called to take them home. What are the students saying? They are outraged! It's not over any feelings that the school doesn't trust them. They feel like it is their night to "have fun" and the school is attempting to take that from them. Pardon? You are 18 (if that!) You have no business having alcohol period! Let alone at (or before) a school sponsored event! And you still have the nerve to be upset?! Is anyone else concerned about the future of this nation?

And speaking of the future of this nation: Our little Full House is almost a year old. He's beinging to sign and he understands much of what we say! He walks when we hold his hands. Take it from me: Parenthood is cooler and more fun than I ever dreamed it would be!

So... there you have it. My musings for the past few weeks. I've said a lot, but all in all, it's all just my opinion.

Saturday, May 12, 2007

Hodge Podge

Well, once again I have lots to post about. I’ll do my best to remember it all and make it interesting... I’ve put the major point in bold so you can skip around and read only what interests you. This is going to be a long one so let’s get right to it:

We’ll start with sports:

(Apu, this one is specifically for you!) So how about those Smallball Red Sox! Bunting for hits, stealing bases, actually winning games by less than three runs! I can’t help but wonder what their current 22-10 record would look like if they were still playing that out-dated Moneyball game! I’m so glad that the Red Sox brass have seen the light!

Barry Bonds is steadily closing in on Hank Aaron’s all-time home run record. Now, in the past I’ve advocated beaning Mr. Bonds every time he comes to the plate. However, that would result in suspensions for pitchers and might stir up some sympathy for Barry. I suggest a new strategy. Just walk him. Every single time Barry steps up to the plate give him first base. If the bases are loaded, it’s better to allow one run rather than four. Besides, with Mr. Head Growth Hormone on first, turning two suddenly becomes three times easier. There is no way he is going to steal and the rest of the lineup is having major issues with the bat so force them to bring him around to score. If the manager puts in a pinch runner, good! Less chances for the man of the massive head to completely defile the game. I would love it if he didn’t see another strike all year.

Roger Clemens is a Yankee. Let’s be honest is anyone really surprised? Allow me to break this down if you will: Roger has said that he will make his decision taking into account team loyalty, family, a chance to win it all, and the history of the game. And what did he actually base his decision on? Money. It’s a simple process of elimination. Loyalty and family both point to the Astros. He already has a contract to work for them once he retires from actually playing the game (It appears that will be sometime between 2012 and 2022). Also, he spent more years with the Red Sox than he ever did with the Yankees. Family clearly is not a factor as his son is a minor league catcher for Houston (Also tying into the history of the game: As far as I know, if his son were to be called up, it would be the first father/son pitcher/catcher tandem in the history of MLB). As for a chance to win it all: The Yankees were struggling when he made his decision. Mired in last place in the American League East they were seven games behind the soaring Sox. Even though it was May, the Yankees have a tough road ahead of them (especially if they keep losing by 12 runs to the likes of the Rangers!) And the History of the game? Roger Clemens is tied for the most wins as a Red Sox pitcher with Cy Young. You may have heard of him, there’s some unimportant award given out every year that bears his name. One more win as a Red Sox pitcher and Clemens would sit alone as the winningest pitcher in Red Sox history. So what could he have based his decision on? The Yankees offered him the most money. That’s it. So what type of difference will he make? Well, he struggled last year against the National League, never pitching more than six innings (often leaving the game after the fifth) and he’s not going to being pitching until June. So what the Yankees have done is rented an aging mercenary who will, without a doubt, tire their faltering bullpen every five days. Clemens is expected to receive approximately nine million dollars per start. Assuming he throws 100 pitches per start (which is an exaggeration. The Yanks will be lucky if they can squeeze 90 out of him twice this year) that would be $90,000 per pitch. That is a very very expensive gamble! I can’t wait till we face him in Fenway!

Moving on: Imus is suing CBS. Good for him. I hope he wins big! Oh, and I have it on good authority that it was actually pressure from Hilary Clinton that forced him out! You heard it hear first! (More on her later).

The "reverend" Al Sharpton had more "intelligent" things to say recently. This time regarding Mit Romney (former Gov. of MA, current Presidential Candidate for the Republican Party and unashamed Mormon.) Sharpton said, "And as for the only Mormon candidate running for office, you don’t need to worry about him, the people who truly believe in God will defeat him. He is only temporary." Don’t get me wrong. I’m not defending the Mormon faith. However, this is a public figure who screams bloody murder when anything is said that even appears to be anti-black opening insulting someone of a different religion. When Romney stated that the comment saddened him in it’s bigoted nature Sharpen’s response was not an apology, it was an excuse. He said that his comments were taken "out of context" because the Mormon church "has a history of racism." Well, if that isn’t a reason to slander someone’s religion, I don’t know what is! I’ve got news for you, good luck finding a religion that doesn’t have a history of racism! (You may not be aware of this, Al, but any favortism or prejudice based on race is racism.) Oh yeah, and apology not accepted because it wasn’t offered and I think you should lose your job (what do you do, anyway?) until Imus has his back!

Paris Hilton is trying to escape the slammer. This would be a huge mistake if the Govinator decides to pardon her. The petition on her website talks about the indecencies that she’d face. That other criminals just like her face every day. Why should she receive special treatment? Because she’s rich? Famous? Innocent? (Well, two out of three ain’t bad.) Martha served her time. Paris should too!

Global Warming remains a hot topic today. I’m only going to briefly touch on the fact that the loudest "chicken little"s who squak about how it will kill us all are the ones doing the least to prevent it! Gore’s Tennessee electric bill for a month was equal to that of what the average Tennessian’s bill is for the year and Ms Rodham-Clinton used three different private jets to fly around the state of South Carolina in one day! Not only that, but one of the jets wasn’t big enough for her so she sent it away and had another fly in from a different part of the state! (That’s four flights for three trips in one day, for those of you who are keeping track.) Then to hide her private flight, she had the jet taxi to where the commercial flights arrive so she could appear to have taken an "everyman" flight, rather than walk into the airport through the private jet area! Anyway...now that we are outraged about that, I have to tell you it’s not really what I’m ranting about... I think that there are things we need to concern ourselves with before we bother with Global Warming! For example: Acid Rain. This was going to destroy our environment in the 80’s! What have we done to stop it? Nothing! It must still be a silent killer waiting to strike! Oh, but wait, before we consider that, we have to be worried about Global Cooling! In the 70’s all the scientists could talk about was the coming Ice Age! There was tons of evidence of both potential catastrophes! Perhaps our efforts to avoid the coming Ice Age have gone too far and that is what’s causing this warming?! No, that can’t be true, because GW pundits are claiming the upward trend has been occurring for 115 years! That means that while we couldn’t send letters any way other than by pony, and before we had that new fangled horseless carriage, and prior to man’s flight, and before slavery was abolished we were able to accurately pinpoint the temperature around the globe! Amazing! Remember this post. In 12 years, we’ll be looking back at the Global Warming hysteria and chuckling about how it went the way of our fears of the Russia’s dropping a nuclear bomb on us in the 50’s.

Thanks for wading through all of that. I’m hoping to be able to post more regularly now. (the play has stalled, but I’m still plugging away at it.) And, always remember, everything you’ve just read is nothing more than just my opinion.