The Nissan

With all of the failing car companies in the news, I can't help but wonder why people buy Nissans.

Noun 1. Nissan - the seventh month of the civil year; the first month of the ecclesiastic year (in March and April) in the Hebrew calendar.

Here's why I ask: When I think of all of the things a car could focus on, I don't think there is a Nissan that is primary for any of them!

A Nissan isn't known for being:

Reliable like the Honda Accord or a Saturn
Safe like a Volvo
Fuel efficient like the Honda Civic or the Toyota Prius
Powerful like the Sliverado, Ram, Bronco, or Tacoma
a Muscle-car like the Mustang
a Family mobile like the Dodge Grand Caravan or Plymouth Voyager
a Chick magnet like the Mitsubishi Mirage or Eclipse
Luxurious like a BMW, Infinity, or an Audi
a Status symbol like a Lexus or a Jaguar
Stereotypical like the El Camino or the Monte Carlo
Eco-friendly like the Yaris
Sporty like the Pontiac Bonneville or Corvette
Versatile like the Subaru Outback or Ford Edge
Fun like the Dodge Neon or VW Passat
Classic like the Toyota Corolla or VW Bug
Aesthetically pleasing like a Ferrari or an Eagle Vision
an Old Person car like a Cadillac, Oldsmobile, or Lincoln

In fact, the only category that I could come up with that a Nissa might be first in would be "Nissan-y." But even in that category I might put the Mazda G6 as more "like a Nissan" than a Nissan.

So, please, why would anyone purchase a Nissan?

Translation, Please?

Ever notice how toddlers and young children seem to be speaking another language, and yet their parents somehow understand them?

Such is the case with our little Full House. His vocabulary is growing by leaps and bounds, he is speaking in full sentences, and he is finding creative ways to let us know what he is talking about. While, on one hand he is an excellent speaker and everyone he interacts with finds it easy to communicate with him; on the other hand, he does say a few things that could pass for other, sometimes humorous, words or phrases.

Below is a pictorial quiz to see how well you can speak "Full House-ese." The pictures are visual representations of what it sounds like he is saying. Can you determine what he means?

The first comment on this post will be what one might hear when he speaks, the "literal translation" if you will. Later in the week, I'll put the answers of what he actually means. See how well you can do. Feel free to put your answers in comments and let us all know if you used just the picture, or the picture and the explanation, to form your guess.

1)

2)

3)

4)

5)
Happy guessing. Don't forget: The first comment is the "literal translation" of each picture and check back later for what he is really saying!

Selling Medocrity

I saw a preview for Tom Hank's newest film that proclaimed:

"Audiences and critics around the world agree: Angels and Demons is better than The Davinci Code!"

Is that the best they could come up with? I picture people standing outside the theater, shrugging and saying off-handedly, "Well, at least it was better than The DaVinci Code."

Isn't that like saying: "Sportscasters and fans alike believe that the 2007 Dolphins (1-15) were better than the 2008 Lions (0-16)!"

"Chefs and patrons both concur: week-old moldy mushroom soup is better than month-old maggot filled road kill!"

"Families everywhere declare: living in a run-down apartment is better than living in a cardboard box!"

Are we supposed to be impressed when they compare new crap with old crap and decide that new crap is better? Just wondering.

Outrageous!

"Filmmaker" Kirby Dick is at it again! The very first movie review on JMO was of this embittered man's attempt at a documentary regarding the Motion Picture Association of America's (MPAA) rating system. It ended up being "a whiny attack by a man who basically wants to see more sex in movies (allow more people under 18 to view it) and attempted to undermine the MPAA by slapping an undue "censor" moniker upon it." -JMO.

In his new "documentary," called Outrage, Dick purposefully outs closeted homosexual politicians who actively campaign and vote against the gay liberal agenda. In interviews, his stated purpose of this "documentary" is to expose the hypocrisy in these politicians. He states that a fringe effect of this is the unauthorized outing of these supposed closet homosexuals (all of whom happen to be members of the Republican party ~ surprise, surprise.) It has little to do with his support for the gay agenda.

This is wrong on so many levels! For years, one of the staples of the Left's gay agenda, and one of their repeated points as to why their legislation should pass, is that "what happens in someone's bedroom is private and the government should not intervene." I guess it's only private when it suits them. If they deem it counter-productive it becomes everyone's business.

Another complaint of the liberal left arose when a homosexual was outed by the media. This was "none of the public's business" and it was a despicable act by the media to out this person. It was their prerogative when and how they announced their sexual preference. Unless it was deemed counter-productive to the homosexual cause, then it becomes everyone's business.

Now, again, Kirby Dick states that this "film" is primarily to expose the hypocrisy in Washington. If that is the case then I look forward to his upcoming "documentaries":

Up In Smoke - Politicians who smoke but pass anti-smoking laws.

Gun Shy - Politicians who own guns and vote for gun control laws.

Color Blind - African-American politicians who actively oppose Affirmative Action.

Straight & Narrow - Heterosexual politicians who support the homosexual cause.

Life & Death - Politicians who believe in Pro-life for themselves yet vote for Pro-choice legislation.

Rabid Pacifist - Draft-dodging politicians who support and wage war.

I.O.USA - Tax-evading politicians who vote to increase taxes.

Party Poopers - A two-part documentary that focuses on Republicans who vote for Socialist programs and Democrats who vote for pro-American legislation.

Once Dick has finished his comprehensive project on the hypocrisy in Washington, he should move on to his crowning jewel: Private No More: An expose on how those entrenched in the gay agenda will ignore their mantra of "the government should stay out of the bedroom" so that they can out anyone they chose if they feel it furthers their cause. And perhaps the most hypocritical act is to hold the view that homosexuals deserve equal rights, that the government should stay out of the bedroom, and then out people who had chosen to exercise their right to have their sexual preference remain private. I smell an Oscar!

I sincerely hope that those who earnestly believe in the cause of homosexuals will call this "documentary" what it is: detrimental, unethical, disrespectful, and hypocritical. And that is Just My Opinion!

The Father's Blessing

Abraham blessed Isaac.
Isaac blessed Jacob.
Jacob pronounced a blessing over all twelve of his sons.
Even Jesus received a blessing from his Father when he was baptised.

This weekend, our church provides an opportunity for parents to give this kind of amazing, life changing blessing to their children as they welcome their 7th and 8th graders into adulthood.

And the church has begun to take steps to actually back up the concept that they are adults by allowing them to become voting members. By seeing them, not as the future of the church, but as the church of today. And by slowly but surely listening to the voice of the youth.

Why is this important? Our society is filled with children who are trying to find their way without the intentional blessing of their parents. In particular, their father. Someone who has not received this blessing typically seeks acceptance from everyone and has difficulty if someone does not accept them. They are concerned that they never quite measure up. They search in as many places they can find for the blessing they never received as they entered adulthood.

Read through some of the Biblical blessings. Gary Smalley and John Trent in their book The Blessing have accurately found that a blessing consists of "a spoken message of high value, a message that pictures a special future for the individual being bless and one that is base on an active commitment to see the blessing come to pass."

I am a dad. I will devote myself to blessing my children. Daily if I can. As often as I remember. And intentionally bestow upon both of them a complete Biblically based blessing as they enter adulthood.

I hope to bless them with, not only words, but action. By introducing them to Christ. By supporting their development: emotionally, intellectually, physically, and spiritually. By pastoring my family, modeling a husband striving to love his wife, setting an example of unconditional love in parenting.

Will I fail? You bet! I already have. Will I give up? Absolutely not!

Have you missed your blessing? Don't let that fall to your children as well. Think you've missed your chance to bless your children? It's never too late to start over. Has God blessed you with offspring? Be sure you bless your offspring with your actions and words!

I found an amazing passage recently: Isaiah 49:15 (God speaking to Israel) "I will not forget you! See, I have engraved you on the palms of my hands." How true! He chose to engrave my name onto the palm of his hands using the nails that held him to the cross.

Epidemic

The cause of the swine flu epidemic has been discovered!