I cannot believe that so much time has passed.
I don't often take time to express fatherhood thoughts. I'd like to take a few minutes to do so now.
I love learning about my son. I love finding out what he likes and dislikes. What he thinks is funny. How he likes to spend his time. What excites him. What he has learned that we intentionally taught him and what he's learned that we did not intentionally teach him. I love his disposition, his intelligence, his athletic ability, his personality. I can't wait to see how our relationship will grow as he does (Well, I don't want him to be grown tomorrow!) I love my son.
I've learned that parenthood is backwards from any other relationship. Consider the majority of other types of relatioships: friendships, marriages, parents, colleagues. Let's assume that every interaction I have with them is positive. We express mutual respect. We compliment each other. In most of our interactions we are positive. In those relationships, if something cutting, negative, or biting is said, it almost completely wipes out all of the positive and good that has happened before. With parenthood, one could have a brat. One's child could be the worst, most disrespectful kid on the block. This parent could have the most infuriating frustrating child and have all of that angst and stress pent up as they are trying to get this hypothetical child to go to sleep. And this child calls them in for the 8 thousandth time to his room and says, "Daddy, I love you." And everything else goes away! Nothing else matters. Suddenly, said child is an angel. Full House is an amazing little boy. I honestly wonder why I was blessed with such a fantastic kid. This is not a commentary on him in the slightest. Simply that, there are times when I, as a father, usually unwarranted, get frustrated with him. He says something sweet, innocent, brilliant, funny, whatever... it all melts away. This would never happen in any other relationship.
I don't like the term "Father." I learned this fact when I was playing with Full House in a public place and an older gentleman asked him, "Do you like playing with your father?" "Whoa," I thought, "I'm his Dad." I had a visceral emotional reaction to the moniker "father." I am blessed to be Full House's (and Wild Card's) dad.
I'm trying to be intentional as his dad. We have a game plan before we play football. We story board before we shoot a film. We prepare for an interview. Why don't we have a plan for parenthood. I call him "Little Man" to remind myself that it's my job to raise him to be a Godly man. I'm intentionally laying a foundation on which I can build as he grows older to instill in him habits that I never had. Prayer. Reading the Word. Studying the Word. Modeling the proper servanthood leadership in the home. Displaying how to love and respect a woman. I don't want to fly by the seat of my pants. I want a game plan. Hopefully it will get even better as I grow in experience as a dad.
So, my little man, my buddy: Happy Birthday. Thank you for three years of laughs, smiles, games, insight, surprises, and love.
I love you, buddy!
3 comments:
You're gonna make me cry!
I like the idea of intentionality.
Happy dad's day to you!!
This is very sweet. I know exactly what you mean when the say" I love you" or " mommy you are so sweet" I just experienced this Monday night, almost the exact example you used. Chloe was not wanting to go to sleep and I was frustrated and I was just being queit so she would sleep. She climbed up next to me, layed down and threw her arm over me. I almost cried.
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