First:"No more blood for oil!"
- Ok, if anyone still believes that Iraq was about oil please offer some evidence of it! Our gas prices have done nothing but soar since this conflict began. It actually seems to me that with all of the cheap oil Saddam was giving France, Germany, and Russia (hence their reasons for not being willing to enforce the resolution they supported in the UN) that maybe we should've gotten in on that when we had the chance!
- This also wasn't about a stupid pipeline that was gonna go through Iraq as Mr. Stupid-White-Man Michael Moore asserted in his Mockumentary Fahrenheit 911 (he and Christopher Guest (This is Spinal Tap, Waiting for Guffman, Best in Show, A Mighty Wind) should get together and make more mockumentaries together. Nah, on second thought Christopher Guest is respectable.)
Second: Because of Hurricane Katrina, the President is releasing some of the US' oil reserves.
- Well it's about time! If the US imported no more oil (we import about 60% of our annual usage) we could support our ravage thirst for the black gold for 5 years! Five years! We've got about 22 billion barrels of oil in our reserves. Even if we leaked .01% of this into our gasoline program it'd probably drop prices 50 cents a gallon! (Remember when $1.50 was expensive!) I'm beginning to think that our local gas stations are getting a few more cents profit per gallon because "Oh, well, with the hurricane, and the rising cost per barrel, and my daughters headed to colleg..whoop, uh, I mean... There's that hurricane."
Third: Drilling for Oil in Alaska.
- Ya know. Alaska is too pretty to drill for oil there. So, after talking to a friend of mine (who I shall refer to as Mudflaps), we've got a suggestion: Let's drill for oil where it's not so pretty. Like the Bronx. We are gonna go to the 5 most polluted US cities that aren't known for their beauty and drill there. Los Angeles is certainly on that list! It's already got a layer of smog. Moving a few people to drill for oil there would be good for them! Also on the potential "drill here" list are Newark, Jersey City (alright, nearly all of New Jersey), Pittsburgh, Philadelphia, Boise (just because), Detroit, Las Vegas, and Miami. "But there's no oil under our cities!" Sure, just like there was no way the Red Sox were coming back from down 3 to the Yankees! Those not chosen to be on the "Asphalt for Oil" list will be considered on the "Asphalt for landfills" list.
1 comment:
It's kind of funny, because I've said if anyone thinks this war has nothing to do with oil, i'd like to hear your reasoning.
My explanation of too lengthy to post at present, but the gist of it is this: Increasing demand for oil is about to surpass global production capabilities. As this comes to pass, by principle of supply and demand, the further rise in gas prices is inevitable, regardless of which country we invade. However, as the middle east currently holds the largest reserves of oil in the world it is logical to conclude that whomever controls this region controls who gets the oil.
At this point we can no longer expect cheap gas (unless the oil companies decide to cut their profits), but we can make sure the US brings it home nonetheless.
Post a Comment